Komorebi
by octaviri
Summary: Sometimes there's a word that perfectly describes the exact feeling you want to convey. But there doesn't seem to be that exact word to describe what she feels towards him. She's worked hard for everything she's got, but she begins feeling something more towards someone who has seemingly never worked for anything in his life. Well, that's about to change for him. OC/Murasakibara
1. Chapter 1: Flash of Purple

_Hiya there, I don't like to leave too many author's notes, but __I really love to interact and get feedback from my readers!  
Please follow and review! And feel free to ask me any questions, or give me suggestions/comments/reactions! Everything is much appreciated~_

* * *

To her, every morning was a fast paced, choreographed routine and she was the seasoned dancer who knew every step and turn. The sun shone through her meticulously angled blinds, so that the early rays of a sleepy sun just barely shone through, waking her within two shrill rings of her alarm. She shot up out of bed. Any lingering would just constrain her morning routine timing, knowing she would be successfully tempted by the soft, alluring folds of her blanket. She gave a good long stretch, arms reaching for her high ceiling.

To her, every morning was an assembly line of carefully curated tasks and she was the well-oiled machine that could perform it flawlessly. She swung her legs off the side of the bed and promptly banged her ankle on the leg of her nightstand.

"Oh f—"

Choice words immediately filled her head, but she bit her tongue. She thought to herself that someone like her shouldn't say such words. Maybe she wasn't as well-oiled as she thought. She lay on the floor and cradled her poor bruised ankle.

_I really hope that doesn't leave a mark._

This was a kink in her supposedly choreographed routine. She glanced over at her phone. A kink, but still merely a speed bump. She continued.

Go to the bathroom. Ten step skincare routine. Cleanser. Toner. Serum. Moisturizer. Sunscreen. She never forgot sunscreen even in the chilling dreary months of Akita's deep winters.

After skincare, makeup. So called no-makeup makeup was much more difficult to her than a regular makeup routine. No-makeup makeup meant that she had to look like she only spent five minutes "enhancing her natural beauty." The cruel reality is that she needed to cake her face in makeup, yet still needed to make it look like only a light dusting of pixie dust on her face. Wispy curled lashes. Barely blushing cheeks. A flash of slight shimmer from her eyelids. All methodically curated to make her appear cuter. Curse these Japanese beauty standards.

After makeup, breakfast. A hefty helping of ripened avocado spread on perfectly toasted wheat bread. Or maybe slightly-below-average toasted bread because she had spent too long fixing her hair and now half her toast was like the dark side of the moon, inedible.

After breakfast, uniform. White button down. Red tie. Grey skirt, slightly rolled for fashion purposes. Black blazer. Socks stretched above her knee.

One last look in a mirror to make sure nothing was in her teeth. A black pepper flake between her two front teeth? How about nice try, but not today. She quickly flicked it away. Grabbing her fluffiest scarf, she was on her way to high school, Yosen.

Her trek to school was not a long one, but by now she knew the best route to the school gates to come in contact with the least people. Interacting with people was a part of her job so to speak, but not really one she enjoyed. Before she had to face the floods of students in the morning, she took a little time to appreciate the start of autumn. Japan had the most beautiful trees. With the maple leaves turning redder with each day, slowly falling into the cement waterway below, she watched as the curled edges of the foliage caught the wind like sails in a tiny ship and raced downstream. A deep breath and exhale, to see her own breath materialize in the chilling air. A tilt up to see the slow rising sun, light streaming through the star shaped leaves leaving cookie cutter like shadows on the asphalt. Japanese wasn't her first language, but she had always loved the very specific words that the language had coined for very specific moments like these: komorebi.

Then the noise. Not the slight sound of water running in the gutter below, but the starting chatter of students congregating. She straightened her posture a little and sucked in her stomach. She forced the sides of her lips up, but not too up, just slightly. And she took in the conversation.

"Ah! That's her isn't it!" An attempt at a hushed voice, but loud enough for her to hear.

"Shinya Estelle-san right? I've seen her around."

"I hear her unit is doing well lately! Good for her!"

"I wish I could be a natural beauty like her. Or at the very least my hair, I want it as sleek as hers!"

Estelle fought the impulse to flatten her lips. Little did they know she spent a good amount of time straightening her hair too.

"Let's go talk to her! I hear she's super nice," a girl whispered to her friend.

_Please don't_. Estelle's lips twitched to maintain her slight smile. But luckily or unluckily, neither of the two girls heard her thoughts and rushed over.

"Good morning, Shinya-san!"

Estelle took a deep breath and endeavored to make it inaudible, "Mornin'!"

"My name's xxx! I'm in the class next door to you!"

"Well, nice meeting you! I'm Shinya Estelle."

"Oh we know who you are! Everyone does! I'm zzz, by the way."

"I believe I met you in the bathroom the other day right?" Estelle ransacked her poor morning brain to remember.

The girl's eyes widened in glee, "Wow, yeah! You remember?"  
Estelle mentally fist pumped, "Of course! You complimented my hair, it made my day!"

"I didn't think you'd remember that! You probably talk to a bunch of people every day anyways."

Estelle smiled, "I have a pretty poor memory, but nice things that people do I remember pretty well!"

A half-truth. Estelle had a good memory regarding events and faces, but not so much about names. She had a hard time remembering Japanese names and an even harder time remembering to use their surnames. There were half a million Satou's and thousands of Suzuki's in her school, let alone all the business people she met through her entertainment company. Abiding by Japanese culture norms and memorizing jumbles of tiny kanji were not her strong suit nor her priority.

The girls continued chatting with her. The conversation was pleasant, but not anything that Estelle hadn't talked about before. Fortunately, many of the girls at her high school were nice and came to talk to her often. Though most of the questions were about if she had met other famous actors, singers, or idol groups. While she had been on TV a few times and her group was up and coming, by nationwide standards, she was still a no name. Only in her local prefecture of Akita would she somewhat turn heads. In a big city like Tokyo, probably no one would spare her a glance.

Estelle parted ways with the two nice girls at the doorway of her classroom and sat down. She knew physics was her first class and she by no means was good at it. Fumbling through what they had went over in class last week, she closed her eyes and furrowed her brow to comb through the concepts mentally.

Then it happened. In the few seconds she had closed her eyes, she had stepped on something and slipped. She felt pain shoot up from her poor bruised ankle that she had slammed into her nightstand a few hours ago. She tried to shift the weight onto her other leg to reduce the pain sustained to her already hurt ankle and instead shifted her weight forward.

She was falling forward. Looking for anything to break her fall, she saw a flash of purple in front of her. Maybe a kind student to break her fall? Whatever it was, her fall was successfully broken. She looked up. Kind grey eyes stared back at her.

Estelle couldn't help but immediately think about how unfair life was because the face staring back at her was impeccable. Masculine yet slender face. Striking eyes and a cute mole beneath his right eye. Soft, but genuine concern. She had spent over half an hour putting on makeup and yet somehow this guy seemed prettier than her. Tatsuya Himuro was the real natural beauty, not her. She remembered his name because, well, everyone knew him. He was an absolute specimen of a man, on student council, and a star on the basketball team to boot. Estelle would have to have been resolutely oblivious to all her surroundings to not hear whispers and lovestruck giggles about him. It also helped that he was in her class.

"Are you all right?" He asked, surprisingly in English.

Caught by surprise, she steadied herself on his arm and responded in the same language, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to fall on you, but thank you for breaking my fall."

He helped her stand upright and Estelle began to process what has happened. Beneath her feet were what seemed to be little colorful pellets.

_Then what was that flash of purple I saw?_


	2. Chapter 2: I Gave it to Someone

She looked to her left. A purple-haired titan stood, shoveling what looked like little colorful pellets into his mouth. Estelle had definitely seen this student lumbering around school before, but she could not remember his name. But even without his name, she could piece together what happened.

_And that flash of purple was… him stepping to the side?! To avoid me?_

Himuro turned to the titan, "Atsushi, that's not nice. She tripped on the candy _you_ dropped. You should at least catch her," transitioning back to Japanese.

Atsushi. She supposed that was his name. Estelle bit the inside of her cheek to avoid spewing her favorite choice words at the titan. How extremely rude. She thought most guys at Yosen would have without a second thought, caught her. And he was the one who _dropped_ _his_ candy, and caused her to fall and he _side stepped_ her?

"I didn't feel like it," Atsushi drawled back.

"Hey, you should apologize to her," Himuro nudged the titan and swiped away his candy with the other hand.

Atsushi frowned, eyes never leaving the candy in Himuro's hand, "I'm sorry."

His arm had an impossible reach and easily took the candy back. He immediately filled his mouth with the remaining rainbow pellets. It took all Estelle had to avoid punching this boorish oaf.

She dug her nails into her palm, "No, no. Don't make him apologize. I should've been looking where I was going. It's ok, Himuro-kun."

Estelle turned to the purple titan, "Sorry for stepping on your candy, Atsushi-san."

Himuro seemed satisfied that she was ok and that the titan apologized. But the class around Estelle somewhat paused and fell a bit silent. Atsushi had temporarily stopped chowing down on his candy and slid his eyes to look at her.

_Did I say something wrong?_

She realized she had called him by his first name, but it was out of necessity as she didn't know his last name. While a major faux pas in Japanese culture, Estelle had grown up in the States and calling people by their first name was very normal. Himuro, who she had heard rumors of, seemed to have spent a substantial amount of time in the States as well did not seem fazed by her blunder. Atsushi, on the other hand, didn't seem offended, but perhaps slightly caught off guard.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…" Estelle trailed off, "I'm sorry. I don't believe we've formally met. What's your name? I'm Shinya Estelle."

The giant kept on staring at her, but didn't respond until a few seconds later.

"Murasakibara Atsushi."

_That's a long last name_. She didn't know how she was going to remember it.

"Then, Murasakibara-san, I'm sorry about your candy," Estelle said, in the nicest voice she could muster.

Murasakibara didn't say anything, unless "hm" counted as something substantial. He then continued shoveling candy into his mouth and went on his merry way, "Bye, Muro-chin." Murasakibara was not in her class. She would know if a 7 foot giant were in her class.

"I'm really sorry about that," Himuro turned face her. English again.

While Murasakibara was hard to smile at, it was hard _not _to smile at such a gentleman as Himuro, "No, please don't apologize. I really should have been watching where I was going. And plus I'm totally awake now."

A half-truth. While she was awake now, she still wanted nothing more than to punch the living daylight out of Murasakibara. But perhaps she could exact her vengeance another time.

* * *

"I know you're busy with your idol group, but you should really join in some extracurricular activities. I'm sure any club would love to have you as a member."

The guidance counselor was nice, and for sure, was just trying to do her job, but Estelle was busy. Singing practice, dance practice, and promotions took up most of her time. Luckily, she was just at the end of a promotion period for their newest album, but the lull was not expected to be too long. The guidance counselor had taken note of Estelle's absence in any club and had taken upon herself to call her into the office.

"Thank you so much for your help, but I really am busy. Is there any way I could waive this requirement or…?" Estelle was gently trying to wiggle her way out of this.

"Unfortunately, this is a Yosen requirement. If you want to remain eligible for your scholarship, you'll have to pick a club to join. We've looked the other way for a while now because we know about your group, but you'll really have to join something."

She slid a paper across to Estelle, "Shinya-san, I'm sure you'll have a great time in any club you join."

Estelle suppressed a deep sigh in her diaphragm, "Thanks so much."

She stepped outside the office and released the deep sigh quietly. Estelle mulled through her mind about which club she could join. Ideally it would be one where she didn't have to do much, and do her homework during club time. She slowly ambled back to her classroom, deep in thought.

_Which club? Light music club maybe? I could get some singing practice in or how about— _

She turned a corner and her face hit a wall. Or at least she thought. Estelle came to and looked at what she bumped into. It was him. Murasaki-whatever. He was still eating candy; this time a lollipop.

He tilted his head downward, "You again?" His expression was inscrutable.

Estelle dug her fingers into the palm of her hand and bit the inside of her cheek. She really wanted to slap some manners into this guy and she needed to do both to restrain herself, "Ah, Murasaki-san. Hello. I seem to bump into you a lot this week, literally."

She laughed awkwardly and looked up to meet his eyes. It was a strange feeling. Estelle was tall and she had always been the tallest out of the girls. But with this titan, she barely reached his shoulder. She looked at her point of impact and her expression changed from annoyance to concern. When they were rounding the corner, Estelle had walked head first into his white uniform shirt and now what was staring back at her was her own full face of makeup, stained on his shirt.

Without an apology and any further attempt at conversation, he began to leave, "Ok, bye."

She couldn't let him walk around like that. It was partially her fault. And also what if someone asked what that stain was from. Estelle was supposed to be a natural beauty, not someone who wore a full beat around.

"Wait!"

He didn't stop and continued trudging onward.

She ran and stuck out her arm in front of him, slamming the wall, "I said _wait_."

"What." He seemed very unamused and earlier showed no signs of wanting to talk to Estelle any further.

"Your shirt," she pointed at his chest, where his white shirt now was a perfect match to her skin tone, along with lip gloss and eyeshadow stains.

He seemed confused as to what it was. He swiped his finger on the stain and rubbed it between his fingers, "What'd you do?"

"Have you not— Do you not know what makeup is?" Estelle was bewildered.

_Sure he's probably never touched makeup in his life, but shouldn't he know what that is?_

"Is this your face?" He pointed at his shirt.

It seemed like a genuine question and Estelle was at a loss for words.

"Uh, yes?"

Her answer seemed to pique his interest and he fully turned to face her. He bent down and shoved his face into hers.

_Oi, that's too close!_ Estelle took a step back, startled as to why he would put his face that close. He closely studied her face to observe the foreign substances that she had applied on it. He stuck his hand out and placed it on her cheek. Estelle was way too startled to react properly to his sudden decrease in facial distance. She couldn't help but notice that his eyes were the same shade of muted violet as his hair and that his eyes drooped slightly downwards, like Himuro's. He removed his hand and looked at it.

"Why is this on your face?" He rubbed his fingers around his palm which was now a shade lighter than his other palm.

She couldn't exactly explain how years of systematic oppression of non-masculine genders caused her to feel the need to use some foundation and setting powder, so she ignored that question.

"I'm sorry I got that on your shirt. If you give it to me, I can get the stains out and return it to you."

"Oh really?" He looked down to inspect the makeup on his shirt and rubbed it with his wrist, "Then ok. Can you give it back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that's no problem. You can change into your—"

Without a warning, he began unbuttoning his shirt.

Estelle immediately hissed "What do you think you're doing! The guidance counselor is right there!"

He finished doing the deed and handed the shirt over, "You said you would clean it for me."

"Yeah I did but that doesn't mean—" Estelle couldn't help but stare.

She had learned from Himuro that Murasaki was his teammate on the basketball team, but she wasn't exactly prepared to see the body of an athlete so up close and personal so fast. He wore a fitted white undershirt and she couldn't help but notice that the uniform did too good of a job hiding the slight bulge of his biceps. She felt her face heat up and with the protective layer of some her foundation gone, she was sure her real blush was showing through. Estelle was still not over his absolute lack of manners, and apparently common sense, but she was willing to give credit where credit was due. And dang, that was a nice six pack. Murasaki was built.

She heard a sliding door behind her roll open. She needed to hide and fast. There were way too many unnecessary misunderstandings created by this oaf and she wasn't going to ruin her reputation or risk any rumors flying around with her up and coming idol group on the horizon. Estelle grabbed the shirt, ran into the stairwell, and bolted downstairs without looking back.

"Murasakibara-kun, _where is your shirt_?" The guidance counselor sounded understandably alarmed.

"I gave it to someone."


	3. Chapter 3: Great Control

Estelle walked home, feeling like she had a secret to hide. Not really, but that didn't stop her from feeling that way. Someone had literally taken the shirt off his own back to give to her and that was a first. Maybe she could use that story in an interview or a variety show for some more screen time. She had stuffed the titan's shirt in her bag and fully intended on washing it and getting all traces of makeup off.

She entered her code into her keypad and her door happily chirruped to let her in. Estelle lived alone and she deeply appreciate the alone time she could get. Between forcing smiles and small talk on the street and school, there was hardly any time for an introvert recovery period.

First things first, remove full face of makeup. Removing makeup was a cathartic experience for her. It was like washing off all the dirt, grime, and memories off her face.

Estelle exhaled deeply and took a good look at herself in the mirror. Promotions for her newest album were coming to an end, so she could take it easy on the makeup this month. She dragged a finger across her clean skin. It was a good skin week so far, no pimples or acne had surfaced. Maybe taking it easy on the foundation would help her keep her skin clear. It was definitely not because her face of makeup had come off from slamming into someone's shirt. Of course not. It was just a small factor.

_I have to get the stains out before they set_. She went to go dig the shirt out of her bag. The shirt was absolutely huge. Murasaki was a big guy, so a big shirt was to be expected, but it exceeded her expectations; it looked like maybe it could be a bed sheet. She studied the makeup stain.

_Nothing too terrible_. She brought it closer to her face. _Looks washable_. She breathed in slightly. _Why does my makeup smell that strongly?_

It smelled nice. But she didn't recall her makeup smelling like that. She whiffed the stain. It was there, but it didn't seem to be the makeup.

_Was it…?_

She paused. Estelle was in the privacy of her own apartment, but something felt a little wrong. She couldn't help but feel like a pervert.

_It doesn't matter! This is my apartment!_

She sniffed the tag of the shirt. Maybe a little too deeply.

She threw the shirt across the room. It smelled good. Maybe a little too good.

_I must be going insane_. She promptly stood up and paced the room. She got on the floor to do push ups. She did some jumping jacks.

_I'm obviously hormonal. Or starved for attention. I've been focusing on practice too much and let myself run wild. I need to exercise more._

It startled her. And she felt a little gross herself. She grabbed the shirt from off the floor and threw it in the washer.

_I'll give it back to him tomorrow and that'll be the end of that._

* * *

Estelle walked to the first year's floor. She was sure the purple titan wouldn't be hard to spot. Someone that tall would stick out like a purple thumb.

She slid the door open, "Sorry, I'm looking for someone."

Heads turned to look at her. But no purple titan.

A couple of boys came over, "Who're you looking for?"

"A Murasaki-san," Estelle responded.

"Ahh, him. He got dragged by the basketball coach outta here," one of the boys laughed.

"Oh then, do you know where I can find him? I needed to return something to him."

"Probably at the gym. They have basketball practice, I think."

"Ok! Thanks so much!" Estelle flashed a smile and went on her way.

Her hearing was more sensitive than most so she could eavesdrop with ease.

"She's kinda cute don't cha think?" One boy nudged the other.

"She's off to find Murasakibara though? You think something's up?" The other scratched his head and lifted an eyebrow.

"Shinya and Murasakibara? Nah man."

"Despite him being good at basketball, not a lot of…"

Estelle had walked too far to hear the end of it. Well, it was good for her that no one would start any rumors about anything. Because it was going to be nothing anyways.

She found her way to the gym and pushed open the double doors.

Thwack!

She winced at the sound but saw where it was coming from.

A women in a black skirt suit had whacked her shinai against the risers. The sound of bamboo against plastic was thoroughly grating.

"How many times do I have to tell you, _you can't skip practice_."

Her voice was assertive and carried, but not loud. She had an intensity that made Estelle shrink back against the double doors. Maybe this was not the right time. Murasaki was double the size of the sword-wielding woman; Estelle could clearly see him from behind the woman. But even he seemed to shrink a bit in her presence.

"Next time I catch you, this shinai's meeting your cranium."

_I really don't want to meet that shinai anytime soon_.

Estelle leaned her back against the door and pushed it to open, but the door made a rather loud _click_ noise against the lull of the woman's tirade.

The woman turned to look at Estelle, "Can I help you?"

Estelle was caught, but she stood her ground, "Hi, maybe I came at a bad time, but I had something to return to Murasaki-san."

The woman glared at the purple titan, "Go ahead," and went elsewhere in the gym.

Estelle walked up to the giant, "Sorry, about the other day. Here it is as promised."

She had folded the shirt neatly and the makeup stains were all gone. Crisp and white.

"Hm," he responded and took the shirt.

Another player bounded up to Murasaki, "Why's she got your shirt." He was tall too. Now that Estelle swept her eyes across the court. They were all tall! Incredibly so! The player that had joined their company was tall, not as tall as the purple titan. But tall enough to very comfortably look down at Estelle. He was a hairy fellow with thick eyebrows and sideburns, but a rather cute goofiness to his demeanor. He did a double take at Estelle.

"Hey uh, isn't that—" He attempted to discreetly point his finger from behind his other hand, but it still was in clear view of Estelle.

"Hiya, nice to meet you. I'm Shinya Estelle," she held out her hand for a handshake.

"Oh, I'm uh, it's an honor. I'm Okamura Kenichi," he stuck out his hand for a shake.

His forearms and hands were as hairy as expected. Estelle hadn't met so many tall people before and the sheer span of his palm was ridiculous. She had learned how to shake fans' hands before. She needed to be ladylike, have a soft, almost flimsy grip to be feminine. Though she had an inkling that she needed a firmer grip with Okamura. She transitioned into her American business handshake. Leaving space between the palms to avoid getting crushed. Or at least that was her strategy. Her long fingers could barely close around his palm. She gave a firm shake as well as she could.

"Wow your hands are very big huh," Estelle couldn't help but comment. She was holding his hand and had unfurled his fingers to their full span. Okamura blushed furiously. Estelle maintained her cheery smile but her inward smile could be characterized rather differently. She liked guys like Okamura. Simple. Easy to read. No surprises. A devious grin emanated through her insides.

"You know what they say about big hands, right?" Estelle flashed her most innocent smile, slowly letting go of Okamura's hand. His face shone red like someone with serious Asian glow and when she let go of his hand, it was warm too. Maybe from playing basketball. Or maybe from something else.

"What do they say about big hands?"

Estelle turned to look at Murasaki, shirt under his arm and head tilted to the side. A genuine curiosity tinted his eyes. She wanted to laugh but suppressed the urge deep down.

"You know," she responded nonchalantly, "Great control of the basketball."

"Oh, I see," Murasaki responded.

Estelle couldn't tell if he was serious or not.

"Shinya-san was it?" The woman with the shinai was back. Significantly less angry than before.

"Yes that's right," Estelle responded.

"I'm Coach Araki. Are you here for the manager position?"

"The what?"

"Manager position. We put up a notice on the bulletin board. I thought maybe you were here for that." She rested her shinai on her shoulder casually.

Out of the corner of her eye, Estelle noticed the match had ended and Himuro slowly made his way over to the group.

"Oh no, I just wanted to return something to Murasaki-san," Estelle replied.

"That shirt is it?" Okamura seemed to have recovered from his previous ordeal, "What happened to it?"

"Lipstick stain," Murasaki said curtly.


	4. Chapter 4: Golden Hour

The sound of a ball bouncing against the gym floor reverberated throughout the whole space and rolled to a stop. Estelle didn't know whether she should be happy or shocked at his answer. Lipstick was one of the few things she wasn't wearing that day. Maybe he equated all makeup with the single item of makeup he knew, lipstick. Or he was really trying her. At least he didn't say a full face of makeup. But at the same time he had to say it in a way where it was rife with misunderstanding.

Estelle attempted to laugh loudly, repressing the slight anger and awkwardness from her voice. "Murasaki-san if you say it like that, people are going to misunderstand." She playfully slapped his arm. She held back the urge to slap the living daylight out of him. "I was lost in thought and accidently smacked into his shirt head first. I got a little makeup on it, and I felt bad so I offered to clean it for him."

"Aha so that's what it was," Okamura laughed, facial features relaxing.

"Well, if you would like to consider the position," the coach continued, "We'll be waiting with open arms. Could use a sensible girl to rattle some sense into them."

Estelle couldn't help but look at the coach's shinai. "Of course, I'll let you know."

She politely waved goodbye to the basketball team and the coach.

_Probably not._

* * *

She walked home the same way she went to school. Avoiding crowds. Avoiding recognition. Avoiding small talk. Though, it was considerably darker than the time she usually went home.

Red sunset, red maple leaves, and a glow around dancing shadows on the ground. The wind was cool, but not cold. Strong enough to blow the leaves off of branches, but not too strong that it messed up her hair.

Golden hour. This called for a picture. Estelle whipped out her phone and snapped some shots of the Japanese maple, the color changing sunset, and of course, herself. A couple of selfies wouldn't hurt. This angle? Backlight. That angle? Sun got in her eyes. She turned in circles looking for that perfect angle.

_Nice_.

She swiped through her new photos. She needed to be more active on her idol unit page, and these pictures were perfect for that purpose. With a little tweaking and adjusting it would be perfect for—

_What is that?_

Estelle zoomed in on a selfie she just took. Around the corner, behind a wall, near a lamppost, stood a person. Baseball cap pulled low over the eyes, surgical mask covered most of the person's features. Not that there was anything wrong with people in her photo. But Estelle thought she would have noticed someone walking behind her. Especially if she was taking pictures. She would have noticed. Unless that person took steps to not be noticed.

Her heart beat harder and faster within her chest.

_Don't flatter yourself, Estelle. It's just a coincidence._

She had once read that to see if someone's following you, to take three left turns. If they're still there, they're following you.

Golden hour was fading. She needed to decide. Take three left turns or go straight home.

_It's just a coincidence._

She put her phone away into her bag. She walked forward. And took a left. Counting to 10, she inhaled and exhaled, forcing her heartbeat to slow down. Her heart was beating up into her throat and it was getting hard to breathe.

She took another left. As indiscreetly as possible, she unzipped her bag partially and her left hand enclosed around the craft scissors she had in her bag.

_1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6… _Inhale. Exhale.

She took her third left. Did the sun always set this fast? She came back to the red Japanese maple she took pictures next to. The shadows on the ground were long and twisted, eerily, slightly moving like specters.

_7, 8, 9, 10._ Exhale. Inhale. She took her phone out of her bag. She giggled as she twirled in circles taking more selfies. Though she tried, she was significantly less cheery than before.

Then she booked it. She stabbed her nails into the palm of her hand and bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from breaking into a run. Her apartment complex wasn't that far away.

_You can do it. Step by step by step by step by step…_

Once the clear double doors of her complex were in sight, she lost her nerve and ran to safety. The security guard was at his post, but he was dozing. She ran to the elevator and hit the up button. After what seemed to be an eternity, the metal doors opened and she slammed into the back of the elevator. Her breathing had evened out, but her knees felt weak. She felt like her knees were going to buckle under her at any moment and supported herself on the side railings of the elevator.

The elevator opened. Hurrying to her door, her hand trembled as she punched in the code. Her left hand steadied her right, and the door finally granted her entrance. She faceplanted into her couch.

For maybe the first time in a long time, she wished she didn't live alone. She threw her bag across the room. Estelle's poor heart had beat enough for two days. Going through pictures was a problem for tomorrow.

* * *

Just yesterday, she had told herself she wouldn't be taking this position. Yet here she was. In front of the gymnasium. Asking for the position.

She clutched her cell phone in her left hand. She hadn't looked at the photos yet. She was much too scared to do it alone, in her apartment, at night.

She pushed open the doors again. The sight was still unfamiliar to her. Many of the basketball players were _very _tall. She was so used to being taller than others that slightly tilting her head upward to look someone in the eye was foreign.

"Do you need something?"

Estelle was just eye level with a boy sporting the Yosen basketball jersey and light brown hair.

"Yeah, I came here yesterday and Coach Araki told me that they were looking for a manager for the team," Estelle responded.

"Eh, I didn't think Ms. Idol would be the type to want this position," he smirked at her.

She felt slightly offended. They didn't know each other well at all and it seemed a little too soon to be joking around like that. She began digging her nails into her palm.

"I'm flattered that you know of me. But I'm afraid I don't know your name," she smiled as sweetly as possible.

"Fukui Kensuke, I'm vice-captain of the team" he replied, smirk never leaving his face.

"Shinya Estelle," she stuck out her hand for a shake.

"Save that for later," Fukui referred to her hand, "I hope you're ready for an interview."

Estelle was growing increasingly miffed. She wasn't used to guys spurning her handshake.

"What interview?" She said.

"For the position," Fukui guffawed, "Maybe you don't know this, but Yosen has a pretty strong team. And we need a strong manager to keep up with us."

Estelle bit the inside of her cheek, "Of course, I know. I'm ready whenever you're ready."

She didn't know. She didn't keep up with sports, though she had dabbled in some sports in the past. If anything, she preferred volleyball.

"I'll get the others, you can sit," Fukui turned his back and headed towards the court.

She took a seat on the nearby risers. The metal was cold against the back of her thighs. Reaching into her bag, she looked at her phone and opened the photos to the most recent one. The photo was darkish. The sun was setting and the shadows were elongated, which made it hard to distinguish shadows from non-shadows. Her finger trembled ever so slightly as she zoomed into the picture and dragged it around to inspect a corner.

"Shinya-san!"

Estelle was visibly startled and jumped a little from her seat. She looked up. It was the hairy fellow from before, and following behind him were Fukui, Murasaki, Himuro, and another tall guy she didn't know the name of.

"I'm sorry did I scare you," the hairy fellow seemed very concerned.

She had forgotten his name, and she felt bad about it. Of course, Estelle remembered that she had met him, and that he was cute in an unconventional way, but just not his name. She just had to fake it until maybe he introduced himself again.

"No, no, it's just… your voice is really deep and I'm not used to hearing it is all," she smiled amiably.

The hairy fellow blushed.

Fukui smacked the hairy fellow's back, "Stop blushing, you gorilla."

She had hoped that he would use his name. "You gorilla" didn't help Estelle much.

"Shinya-san, good to see you again."

This gentlemanly voice could belong to no other than…

"Himuro-kun, same here." Estelle's cheeks hurt from smiling too much.

"We should introduce ourselves briefly before we start grilling you," Fukui grinned.

"That'd be great," Estelle responded.

"I'm Himuro Tatsuya." Himuro smiled.

"I'm Okamura Kenichi. I'm captain of the team," the hairy fellow said.

_Oh, that's his name._

"I'm Fukui Kensuke." Smirking as usual.

"I'm Liu Wei."

Liu Wei was the one she had never met before. He was taller than Okamura, but shorter than Murasaki. He spoke softly with a slight accent to his voice. To Estelle, his eyes had a cute slant upwards, which was an interesting contrast to the slight downward turn of his lips.

The only one left was…

"Atsushi, introduce yourself," Himuro pressed.

The purple titan was severely unamused, "Murasakibara Atsushi."

Oh, she had been calling him Murasaki-san by mistake. It was Murasaki_bara_. That was a whole six syllables to remember.

"I'm Shinya Estelle. Nice to meet you all!" Estelle reminded herself to keep smiling.

"Well, there's more people on the team," Fukui continued, "But we're the five that you'll probably interact with the most."

She nodded.

"Let's get started then," Fukui yawned. He didn't seem terribly invested in this interview. "Who wants the first question?"

"Do you know how to cook?" Okamura blurted out.

Fukui stared at him, "What kind of question is that?"

Okamura looked sheepish, "Well, you know, we're here at practice pretty late. And it'd be nice to eat… something handmade."

He was cute after all. Estelle laughed, "Yes, I can cook. I think cooking is actually one of my few strong suits."

Okamura's expression brightened significantly.

"Then…"

Estelle's eyes turned to Murasaki_bara_.

"Why here?" He said with a lollipop in the side of his cheek.

"Excuse me?" Estelle needed some clarification.

"Why basketball?"

Equally unhelpful elaboration. Estelle clutched her cell phone in her left hand a little tighter.


	5. Chapter 5: Sweets I Can't Eat

_Thanks so much for everyone's views! And for my one loyal follower haha, I see you.  
__Please follow and review! I would love to hear your thoughts/feelings/comments._

* * *

"Well, there's two reasons."

All the eyes of the basketball players turned to Estelle.

"The guidance counselor told me I needed to be part of an extracurricular, so I was looking for one anyways, when I bumped into Murasaki…bara-san here."

A whole six syllables to remember. There was a slight pause in her dialogue.

"What's the second one?" Liu Wei's soft accented voice prodded.

Pressing her nails into her palm, she thought about what to tell them. The real reason or a placeholder.

"I thought that being a basketball team manager would also push me to exercise more." Estelle smiled to push feelings of awkwardness deep down inside, "Because you know, as an idol, we really have to watch… our fitness and lately I've…"

Her voice trailed off and she glanced down at her tummy slightly.

"Wanting to be fit and healthy is very admirable, Shinya-san," Himuro said.

Her smile felt less awkward. She could count on a gentleman like Himuro to catch her drift without needing to spell it out.

"Then do you have time for this?" Fukui reengaged in the interview, "I mean, you've got your idol stuff and whatnot."

Estelle laughed slightly, "Yes, thank you for your concern. I fully intend on putting my best efforts for this position. I need an extracurricular for school anyways. I would need to make time for it no matter which activity I was in involved with."

She looked at the team's faces. None of them, other than Okamura, showed too much interest in her. Which was interesting, to say the least. She was used to many of the boys in class fawning over her and flirting. But here, maybe all they had in their heads here was basketball.

_Or maybe I'm just full of myself._

"Any other questions for me?" Estelle asked, "I'd be happy to answer."

Fukui chuckled, "No need to be too serious. This interview was half a joke."

Estelle's right eye twitched slightly, "Excuse me?"

"Coach Araki's lax about things that aren't actually basketball. Just wanted to make sure you weren't one of Himuro's crazy fangirls. We get some of those sometimes," Fukui seemed to wince at the memory.

"So did I prove I'm not a crazy Himuro-kun fangirl?" She asked jokingly.

"Not 100% yet, but yeah, I think you're good. What about you guys?" Fukui turned to the other guys.

"YES." Okamura said very quickly.

Estelle smiled at him.

"Sure," Liu Wei joined in.

"We're happy to have you on board," Himuro gently smiled.

There was only one person left who had not expressed their approval. The group turned to look at the one holdout.

"I guess," Murasakibara added lazily.

Did he really have to be so rude?

_Just pretend you're happy and say yes. How hard could it be?_

"Then welcome to the team, Shinya-san," Himuro tactfully turned the conversation around.

"Thanks so much! I'll look forward to helping you guys!" Estelle responded enthusiastically.

"So uh, what should we address you as…" Okamura barely managed to stutter out.

Estelle tried to hold back her grin, "Shinya. Estelle. Either works. I've lived in the states for a while, so I'm used to people calling me by my first name."

Okamura blushed once again, "Then what about—"

"Elle-chin," Murasakibara interjected.

_…__-chin?_ Estelle didn't know if this was some sort of Japanese slang she didn't know or was Murasakibara making things up?

"Yeah, that's fine, Murasakibara-san," Estelle tried to be as cordial as possible. "Oh, if you guys in interested something to eat tomorrow after practice, what would you like me to bring?"

Estelle had learned to cook for herself well. Because as an idol, her diet was very restricted and the healthiest, cheapest foods were made at home. In order to make her bland, meal prepped food taste better, she had learned all sorts of tips and tricks to make it appetizing. Her cooking was something she was proud of.

The team of boys around her seemed to think hard about what they wanted.

"Dolsot bibimbap," Murasakibara said.

How very specific.

"Korean food? Wow, um, I definitely can do bibimbap, but I'm pretty sure I can't bring a stone pot around," Estelle said. She could understand why he wanted a stone pot though. The little burnt, crunchy pieces of rice that stuck to the stone pot was the best part. That crunch was the perfect texture contrast to the most of the soft white rice that would fill most of the mouth. Estelle was beginning to drool just thinking about it. She swallowed and grounded herself back in the gym, "But for sure, bibimbap doesn't taste good cold. How about I borrow the home economics kitchen, and I'll call you guys over when I finish cooking?"

"Sound like a plan," Fukui said, taking out his cell phone.

Even the sarcastic Fukui's eyes seemed to brighten at the sound of freshly cooked food after practice. The other four followed suit and they all exchanged numbers. Estelle couldn't remember the last time she willing exchanged numbers with so many people. As an idol, she was wary of giving out her number, but she was going to be their manager now. She had to have all their numbers for contacting them.

"Got it," Estelle inputted all the new contact information into her phone.

The boys departed, leaving her bits and pieces of "looking forward to working with you" or "happy to have you on board," and returned to their practice.

Her mood was instantly lifted by talking to the boys and having something to look forward to doing tomorrow. But there was something still weighing down her mood like balloons tied to a brick. That picture on her phone.

Estelle gulped and her fingers gingerly enclosed around her phone and she opened her photos app. The dark photos were the first in her queue. She zoomed in and scrolled around. Each movement of her finger around the screen caused her heartbeat rate to climb upwards and upwards. Unfortunately, everything was a little too dark and many photos she took were blurry. In the end, she found no conclusive evidence that anyone was there. But she couldn't shake the feeling that maybe someone was.

* * *

Estelle had a hefty haul to bring home. Eggs, mushrooms, cucumbers, carrots, kimchi, bean sprouts, gochujang, and roasted seaweed. All ready for tomorrow's cooking session. But she didn't exit the grocery store yet. It was dark outside because by the time she was done observing practice and had bought everything, the sun had set. Her palms were getting increasingly drenched in sweat, despite the cool breeze that blew in every time the automatic doors opened for another customer. Her breathing was becoming shallower.

_It's fine. You didn't see anything in the photos. Your apartment is close by. Just walk. Just. Walk._

She tried to convince herself, but to no avail. Her knees felt sorer and sorer and threatened to buckle underneath her.

_Calm down. Breathe slower. Just take a step forward and_—

Her thoughts were interrupted by a giant who walked past her. She jerked her head to look at which giant it might be. Liu Wei? Okamura? Her heart sank a little within her as she noticed purple hair. Out of the three players above six feet to walk by, it was the one who probably didn't care about her the most. She had really been hoping for Okamura, an easy target to play innocent. But for Murasakibara, she didn't know exactly how she was going to do this. The more she thought, the farther the purple titan walked. It was now or never. She picked up her feet, which seemed to suddenly turn to lead.

"Murasaki…bara-san!" She said loudly, half running after him.

The purple titan turned at the sound of his name. "Elle-chin," he said in recognition.

That bizarre nickname he had given her. But that was the least of her worries.

She tried her best to smile cutely, "Oh you stopped by the grocery store too? What'd you get?"

Small talk was a way to figure out which way he was going, and if she could nonchalantly tag along.

"Sweets n' snacks," he lazily responded, shifting his plastic bag against his chest. He already had half an umaibo in his hand and the other half in his mouth, which he was currently chewing.

"Ah I see, I got ingredients for bibimbap tomorrow," she raised her grocery bag, filled to the brim, "Which way are you going?"

Murasakibara pointed in the opposite direction of her apartment. There was no way to casually tag along.

"Oh is that so," she tried to smile, but the corners of her mouth were twitching, "Then… I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya," Murasakibara half-heartedly waved at her and began ambling towards the direction he pointed to earlier.

Estelle's feet were melting into the asphalt where she stood. She stared at her feet and her calves were involuntarily slightly spasming for being tense for too long. She didn't want to look up. She didn't want to see anything in the shadows, around corners, behind lampposts. But she had to get home.

_I'm almost home anyways. I'm just a few steps from home. I'll just… make sure Murasakibara is gone._

She finally turned her head up and around to look for Murasakibara.

_Which way did he say he was going again?_

She swiveled her head around to look for him. But then she something shift a couple hundred feet in front of her. Maybe it was just a flickering lamplight casting a shadow. Maybe it was a cat walking around trash bags. Or maybe it was what she had feared.

She broke into a run. But not in the direction of her apartment. The opposite direction. Because she saw that he was still there, a slight purple in the opposite direction of her apartment. She heard footsteps. But she was no longer in a state of mind where she could determine if they were her own or someone else's.

She could see Murasakibara turn around to see who was running behind him. His eyes slightly widened when he noticed that she wasn't slowing down at all, despite the distance between them closing fast.

Estelle ran towards him and, without stopping, essentially body slamming Murasakibara. Murasakibara fell to the ground, like he accidentally missed his chair sitting down.

"Ouch," Murasakibara frowned at the pain he had experienced from being suddenly tackled by Estelle and being brought into sudden contact with the road.

Estelle found her hands, bracing her against impact, on either side of Murasakibara's abdomen. She was between his long legs and her head was facedown towards his stomach. She panted heavily from running the fastest she could. Her palms and knees were throbbing from being thrust onto a rough road. Her hot breath from running materialized in the increasingly cold night air, and she couldn't help but get a whiff of his uniform jacket. It smelled just like the shirt that she had washed the other day, a rather pleasant musky, sweet scent.

Murasakibara didn't seem too happy about being thrown to the ground, but he could barely make out Estelle's expression and features by tilting his chin down. Estelle didn't look too happy either.

"I'm sorry," she heaved breathily. Her mind was coming to terms with what her instincts had made her do. And her head raced to find a legitimate reason for tackling him to the ground. Her face was still warm from the rush of adrenaline and she didn't know what kind of expression she had on. She threw her face upward to see Murasakibara's downward tilted one. Her forehead slightly glistened with sweat and Murasakibara's violet irises seemed to twinkle under the dim light.

"I just remembered I have a bunch of sweets I can't eat at home, would you like them?" She blurted out.

Murasakibara blinked at her.


	6. Chapter 6: Something More

It was quite obviously a lie. No matter who looked at it. Estelle had body slammed Murasakibara to the ground because she had suddenly remembered uneaten candy at her place? Not very plausible. But that was the most Estelle could salvage of her dignity after literally throwing herself on him.

Estelle got off her hands and knees, shifting her weight backwards off of Murasakibara. She sat, kneeling between his legs now. Murasakibara sat forward, so that his large torso was hovering over her. His bag of snacks had been tossed to the side during the tackle.

"Ok."

Estelle had been staring at the floor, but she snapped her head up to look at Murasakibara. She was very surprised that he said yes. She didn't think Murasakibara was a complete imbecile, maybe just not very tactful. He should've known something more was afoot. But if he knew, he showed no signs of it.

Estelle hurriedly stood up, grabbed his snacks, and her groceries. She hoped none of the eggs had suffered during the ordeal. Murasakibara stood up as well in front of her.

"Well, um, my place is this way," she embarrassedly pointed out the way, holding both her bags and his.

"Ok."

They both walked in heavy silence toward her place. Despite having company, Estelle was still trembling a little. She was scared of so many things. Afraid that the movement she had seen earlier was still following her. Afraid that some random passerby might take a picture of her and cause a scandal. Afraid that Murasakibara might say something unwarranted and spread rumors. She had solved one problem, only to bring forth a whole host of other problems.

Murasakibara reached a hand over to hers. Estelle's whole body jolted in surprise at the touch of his long fingers. He took all the bags from her and he held it. She tilted her head up to look at his face. He looked straight forward.

"Muro-chin told me that I should carry things for girls."

She supposed the look of utter surprise made it to Murasakibara's cognition to warrant his response.

"Oh. Thank you," she muttered quietly.

Despite having a huge purple titan by her side, she still could not still her rapidly pumping heart and her eyes shifted this way and that. In a lapse of judgment, her instinct for want of more safety took over and her pointer finger and thumb made their way to the cuff of Murasakibara's sleeve. Estelle felt the need to ground herself and the need to touch, hold something. And that something happened to be the very edge of his sleeve. Really, she wanted to hold something more substantial, but even the strongest desire for security would not override her common sense and pride. She was _not _holding anything more of some random guy she had only met a few days prior, and didn't even seem to like her all that much.

Her knuckle gently brushed against the back of his hand. The slight touch brought Murasakibara's attention to Estelle's delicately placed fingers. He looked at her two fingers on the edge of his cuff. And then he looked at her face.

Estelle wouldn't dare look at his face right now, but she could tell without looking that his purple eyes were boring into her temple.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered without facing Murasakibara. Then, in an even more hushed tone, "Just for a little…"

Murasakibara turned his eyes away from the tenuous grasp she had on his sleeve to the road. He didn't know where her apartment was, so Estelle was leading him by gently tugging on his sleeve. The two trudged silently on towards a destination that only Estelle knew.

After what seemed like an eternity, they arrived. Still holding onto his sleeve, she used her free hand to punch in the building code. Murasakibara was looking at the numbers she input. Right now, Estelle couldn't care less if he saw or not.

They waited in front of the stainless steel doors of the elevator. Estelle felt especially small in the warped reflection of the elevator doors next to him. Leading him by the sleeve, they entered the elevator and she hit floor eight. The floors pinged past while the two stood in silence. Currently, Estelle didn't feel the need to support herself against the elevator railings. Her two fingers clasped onto his cuff was enough. Slowly, her heartbeat slowed, and her trembling stilled.

The doors opened and Murasakibara followed her to her apartment door. She punched in the numbers in plain view of him. She was too tired to really care. He lived in the opposite direction of her and as of now, Estelle did not deem him as someone to be wary of. He was disinterested in her and she was just using him for an escort home. The keypad glowed green and granted them entrance.

Walking past the threshold of her apartment door instantly flipped a switch in her mind. She was fine now. She was safe now. Estelle let go of Murasakibara's sleeve. She kicked off her shoes.

"You can come in if you want. Let me get those sweets I promised you." She ran into the depths of her apartment to find all the sweets that fans had given to her lately.

Of course she felt bad that she was giving away the food that she had been given, but it was a fact of her life that she couldn't eat it anyways. It was either throw it away or give it away. She returned to her living room to see Murasakibara in socked feet looking around her apartment, with her groceries now on the floor near her TV.

"You have a big apartment," he stated plainly.

Estelle looked around. It wasn't particularly big to her. The ceilings were high, and most of her walls and furniture were white, to give an illusion of more space. But the space itself wasn't necessarily big.

"You think so?" She dug in her kitchen cabinets for a bag to fit all the sweets. She surprisingly had a lot of special event bags, with her idol unit plastered over the front. After events were over, the staff usually had extras and Estelle took them home to use. She grabbed one and stuffed as much as she could into it. The bag was bulging with the sweets she was gifted.

"Do you live here by yourself?" Murasakibara asked, seemingly innocently.

Estelle had already been lax with her building code and apartment code because she didn't think that Murasakibara had any interest in her. But asking if she lived alone after having all that information was a bit too much. She ignored the question and walked back over to where he was.

"Here you go," she said handing him the bag, "Thanks so much for walking with me."

"Mm," Murasakibara grabbed the bag and sauntered towards the door.

He messily shoved his feet into his sneakers and Estelle was behind him ready to see him out.

"Do you need me to walk you out?" She asked.

Stepping over the threshold, Murasakibara shook his head.

"Then, ok. Thanks so much again," Estelle said ready to swing the door shut behind him.

"Elle-chin."

She paused, hand still on the door handle, and looked at him expectantly. He turned slightly to face her.

"Are you afraid of the dark?"

She blinked at him. The question caught her off guard. Probably Estelle's eccentric behavior of tackling him and then grabbing his sleeve was too strange for him to not compile some sort of explanation for it. This was probably the culmination of his theory, that Estelle was afraid of the dark.

She smiled softly at him, wrinkling her eyes, "A little, yeah."

"Ah."

"Good night, Murasakibara-kun."

"'Night, Elle-chin."

* * *

She was ready. It was after school and after checking in with the team to make sure that they were all good, she headed towards the home economics room. She was fully prepared. She brought her own knives, a bluetooth speaker, and her ingredients all ready. Closing all the classroom doors and leaving a window just a tad open, she prepared her tunes and grabbed an apron from a shelf. Her playlist of choice today consisted of her idol unit's albums and songs. It was a good opportunity to review her repertoire while cooking. Two birds and one stone.

She julienned the carrots and crunchy little cucumbers in fluid rocking motions. Seasoned the bean sprouts. Chopped the mushrooms. A slight stir fry for the carrots and high heat for the rice. She was trying her best to emulate some of the crunchy pieces of rice that stuck to the stone pot without depriving the rice of its soft fluffy texture.

She was about done cooking. The final step was to cook a plate of over easy eggs to go on top of the bibimbap. She opened the carton of eggs. A few cracked and had leaked a little. It reminded her of what had happened last night, how she had body slammed into Murasakibara and landed in a rather compromising position. She could feel her face growing warm, but it could also be from the heat of the pan. She shook her head vigorously, as if to shoo away the unpleasant memories. Maybe focusing on belting the notes of the song would get her mind off the incident.

_You're like the sun shining high in the sky  
__I'm like the midnight star burning bright  
__Though we're so different I can't deny  
__Wanting to be in your arms at twilight_

_You're so far away from me  
__And I just can't seem to get through  
__Why can't we both just agree  
__That I love you._

The song came to an end and her eggs were just about done too. She assumed basketball players ate a lot, especially ones that were over six feet tall, so she cooked the entire carton, except the ones that were broken. Bibimbap tasted the best piping hot so she picked up her phone to turn off the music and to call the team over.

Who should she call? Captain Okamura? Himuro? She didn't know Liu Wei or Fukui that well so she decided against them. Her thumb slightly hovered over Murasakibara's name.

_Don't be ridiculous_.

She called Himuro. As the phone rang on her side, she heard another phone ring just outside the classroom. Was that who she thought it was? She left her phone on the counter, wiped her hands on her apron, and slid open the door.

Five basketball players were crouched near the window of the classroom. But they were so tall that from the window, the tops of their heads were showing. Despite having intimidating statures, and sometimes demeanor, on balance, the team was pretty cute. Estelle couldn't help but smile.

"How long have you been sitting here?"


	7. Chapter 7: Next Victim

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* * *

The boys' sheepish conduct was a sharp contrast to their roughed up appearance. Of course they had been hard at practice, so their slightly disheveled appearance was excusable. Except for one, Murasakibara. He didn't appear sweaty or out of breath at all, yet still looked unkempt. She couldn't look him in the eye, for fear that her humiliating behavior the previous night would incapacitate her from acting normally.

Avoiding any eye contact, Estelle believed that he probably hadn't been practicing at all, and just came for the food. As their new manager, this was something that she supposed she needed to watch out for. But as for the first day on the job, she would let it slide and observe more of his behavior.

"So?" She prodded, "How long have you been hiding there?"

"Not that long," Fukui tilted his eyes upward towards the ceiling, as if he found something interesting there.

"How long?" Estelle smirked.

They were avoiding the question.

"You have a great singing voice, Shinya-san," Himuro slyly dodged it again.

Estelle's eyes crinkled from a smile. They were very cute when they were shy and sheepish.

"Is that so," she raised a knowing eyebrow at them, "Come on, food's getting cold. Let's eat!" She waved them in with a gesture of her arm.

The team quickly squeezed through the classroom and Estelle could see their chests rise and deflate with a satisfying inhale of freshly cooked food.

"Wow, smells great!" Okamura's eyes widened in eagerness.

"Tastes great, too," Estelle added pertly, "Check it out."

She grabbed a pre-plated bowl of bibimbap. The bowl boasted a beautiful arrangement of carrots, cucumbers, bean sprouts, and mushrooms in a concentric circle around the star of the show: a perfectly over-easy egg. The team's hungry eyes and noses drank in the full spectacle of the dish. But it wasn't over yet. Estelle expertly took her chopsticks and delicately opened a slit in the egg, and the delicious golden yolk tumbled down the skirt of the egg and saturated the steaming rice beneath it.

"Ain't it something?" She was definitely fishing for compliments.

She had spent so long over cooking and she wanted her fill of praise.

A scattered chorus of phrases to the effect of "looks great," and "can't wait to eat" peppered her ears. They were growing mad with anticipation; to see and smell the food without being able to taste it was torture.

"Alrighty, dig in," Estelle was done teasing them and let them have at it.

Hurriedly, they grabbed their bowls and utensils and jam packed their portions with high piled vegetables. They absolutely wolfed it down.

There was something about them completely stuffing their faces with her homemade food, so much so that they had hardly any time to breathe, that utterly melted Estelle's heart. It felt fulfilling for her, that they seemed to enjoy what she made. Or maybe they were just hungry and anything tasted good. She chose to believe the former. She felt… motherly?

She lay her head between her palms and gave a soft smile as she intently watched them enjoy her hard work. As she looked at each of the players, she accidentally made eye contact with Murasakibara.

_Why isn't he eating? Is it because he wasn't practicing earlier?_

"Elle-chin," Murasakibara got her attention, "Did you eat?"

The other basketball players were too busy scarfing down their food to pay attention. Maybe she saw some kind of reaction from Himuro, but otherwise, he continued eating.

Estelle paused and thought about what to say, the real answer, or a placeholder.

"Mm," Estelle gave an nonanswer, "Have you tried it this way?" She grabbed her chopsticks, picked up a piece of roasted seaweed, wrapped the seaweed around a bite of bibimbap, and held it across the home economics counter, "This is my favorite way of eating it."

Her holding out food for Murasakibara to eat was enough to catch the attention of the ravenous rest of the team. Okamura's eyes bugged out. Fukui was at a loss for words. Liu's characteristic dissatisfied expression lessened. Himuro just looked on in mild interest. On the other hand, Murasakibara didn't seem to mind. Perhaps to him, food was food.

Murasakibara stretched his long torso over the counter and closed his mouth around the morsel Estelle offered.

As he chewed, she asked, "How is it? Good huh."

Mouth full of food, he nodded. Estelle picked up another piece of seaweed and thought about her next victim, "Okamura-kun, aaaahh." Estelle's innocent smile was markedly different from the devious laughter that was welling up inside of her.

With reddened cheeks and embarrassed eyes looking away, Okamura obliged and ate from her chopsticks.

She looked knowingly at Okamura's expression as he munched on. The natural umami that seaweed holds as well as that nice textured crunch contrasting to the softness of bibimbap, Estelle knew that it tasted great. But it had been a while she since she had eaten white rice. Her hand went to lay on her tummy. She hadn't been eating too much lately due to her strict diet for their previous comeback.

_We won't have another comeback for a while, I wonder if…_

Murasakibara jabbed a spoonful of bibimbap in her face. Estelle slightly drew her face back. She still wasn't sure if she wanted white rice right now, as tempting as her own cooking looked to her.

Estelle smiled softly, "Thanks Murasakibara-kun, but watching you guys already makes me—"

Without warning, while she was still talking, Murasakibara used his long reach to his advantage and had jammed the spoon in her mouth while she was still talking.

Estelle fell off her chair in surprise and choked on a grain of rice falling into her windpipe. She coughed, pounding her chest to get the food out of her airway.

"Oi! Hey are you ok?" Fukui rushed to the other side of the counter and bent down next to her.

Okamura followed and knelt next to her, "What do we do? Is she choking?" He frantically asked.

"I'm not choking," Estelle managed to whisper, "I'm—"

Okamura, in his frenzy, took it upon himself to palm Estelle's back with full force, in an attempt to get her to stop choking.

It hurt. She had already coughed up the food that was irritating her before the slap and her diaphragm was sore with all the sudden exercise. And then added onto that was a heavy hit from a basketball player. Pain radiated from the spot of impact and stung her entire backside. She dug her nails into her palm with all her might to prevent herself from letting out a string of curse words.

"Hey! You're being too rough with Shinya-san!" Himuro finally intervened.

Himuro wedged himself between Okamura and Estelle.

"Shinya-san are you ok?" He placed a tender hand on her back.

She bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from hissing at him because of the pain.

"I'm fine," she quickly said. She didn't want another other basketball player to slap the feeling out of her back, "I think maybe I need a little ice though."

"I'm— I didn't mean to," Okamura was utterly crestfallen.

As cute as Okamura might be, Estelle had almost forgotten his sheer size.

"It's not your fault Okamura-kun," Estelle smiled, but her eye twitched. She sat back on the floor, hands supporting her.

Himuro turned his attention to Murasakibara, "Atsushi! That's not how you treat a girl."

The purple titan eyes seemed offended, "But Muro-chin, you said I should always return favors."

"Yes but," Himuro's fingers rested between his eyebrows, "You have to wait for their ok."

"Hmpf." Murasakibara was not happy either.

"I'm sorry, Shinya-san," Himuro turned his attention back to Estelle, "He means well."

Estelle was getting tired of forcing her smile. As nice as Himuro was, right now her head was filled with the tingling sensation of pain.

"I'm sure he does," she responded, and slowly got up, "I think I'll head over to the nurse's." She looked around the home economics room, there was a lot of cleaning up to do. Might as well put the boys to work. She used her chin to gesture to the mess, "Do you think you guys could…"

"Yes. Yes. Right away," Okamura scrambled aside to go clean up, grabbing the back of Fukui's shirt to accompany him.

"Hey, I'm not the one who pummeled Shinya-chan," Fukui complained as he was being dragged. But he obediently began collecting dishes.

Poor Liu Wei was caught in the crossfire and began looking for something to clean.

Estelle walked to the door to go by herself to the nurse's office. She needed to check if the slap left a mark on her back.

"Atsushi," Himuro firmly said, "Take Shinya-san to the infirmary."

"Eh, why me?" Murasakibara seemed about ready for round two, with snacks already in his hand.

Himuro raised his eyebrow and gave a stern knowing look. Murasakibara took the hint. Estelle was too tired to protest and walked out of the classroom with the purple titan in tow.

Her steps were sluggish as the pain exuding from the center of her back drew her attention. She really needed to ice soon, but she couldn't bring herself to walk faster. Murasakibara, with a much longer stride, as naturally sluggish as he was, was ahead of her and looked back at her.

"You're slow."

That was the only warning he gave before unceremoniously scooped her up into his arms. Estelle had way too many surprises this week and she was all out of self-control to hold herself back.

"What do you think you're doing?" She didn't hold back and her voice was tinged with disdain.

Despite her tone of voice, she didn't struggle in his grip. She was tired and could use a ride to the infirmary, but his total lack of respect for her autonomy was extremely off-putting.

"You were going to take too long," Murasakibara didn't look at her at all.

Estelle kept quiet until they arrived at their destination, seething with contempt. He brusquely dropped her on the bed. Which again hurt. She was not a happy camper and she was ready to tell him off when he turned around suddenly.

"Be back," Murasakibara closed the curtain on her.

Estelle muttered a string of choice words under her breath, for a cathartic effect that only foul words could bring her and mulled over the events that had just happened.

_Have these basketball players never interacted with a girl before? Save for Himuro. But isn't hitting a girl on the back without any constraint a little much? I mean how much does that fu—_

Murasakibara was back with an abrupt drawing back of the curtains. Orange rays of the sun flooded her little curtained off area and she winced at the sudden light.

"Did you get—" Estelle started as she blocked out the sunlight with her hand.

Murasakibara sat down on the bed where she was; his heavy weight sent Estelle bouncing on her bottom. She looked over at his hand. He did have ice. But he was reaching for what seemed to be the direction of her face with the hand that was unoccupied with ice, with his face slowly coming near her.

She instinctually flinched backwards, yet couldn't help but notice how different his violet eyes looked with rosy beams of sun saturating them. His eyelashes were a brilliant purple color too.

Murasakibara placed his thumb on the corner of Estelle's lip and slowly drew it across her bottom lip. The action set her heart racing. His thumb seemed to leave a trail of fire in its wake as her face began heating up uncontrollably.

_Uh, what?_


	8. Chapter 8: Up Close

Their faces were close. It seemed that Murasakibara had a tendency to disregard personal boundaries and to do whatever he felt like doing at the moment. He withdrew his thumb from her face, and his face slowly withdrew from hers. But that didn't stop her from feeling heat emanate from her own face, even if his had left.

She wondered if the heat was from anger at Murasakibara's ignoring personal space or from the sudden decrease in physical distance between them. Either way, he had better have a good explanation for what he had just done.

Estelle furrowed her brows and looked at him, waiting for an excuse. Murasakibara was focused on his thumb.

"Bibimbap sauce," he drawled, and wiped his thumb on his uniform pants.

"Why didn't you just tell me? I could have wiped it off myself," Estelle defiantly huffed.

"I saw Muro-chin do it before."

Estelle blinked.

_He was just copying Himuro?_

She didn't know if she wanted to know who the receiving party was, but it wasn't hard to guess.

"And what about you carrying me? Was that something you saw Himuro-kun do too?"

_Does he have absolutely no idea how to interact with girls, except for what he sees Himuro do?_

"No, Muro-chin doesn't do that."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I already told you. You were slow."

"So you do that to everyone who is too slow?"

"Hmm," Murasakibara seemed to think aloud, "Not really."

"You do know that you should ask for someone's permission before you do that, right?" Estelle was going to hammer into him some sense of consent.

"Well you tackled me yesterday without permission."

Estelle paused.

"That was different!"

"You also held my hand without permission."

She could feel the heat climbing up her neck again.

"I did _not _hold your hand," she hissed.

"I was just… holding onto your sleeve for a bit." Estelle couldn't look him in the eye. She looked at another corner in the infirmary, "And plus, I asked if I could for a little bit, and you didn't say anything. So that was a yes."

Estelle intended on schooling Murasakibara in consent but ended up getting taught herself. She lost the very battle she had waged. Instead of facing her failure, she flopped onto the bed, showing her back to him.

"Ice my back."

"Where?" Murasakibara asked, ice in hand.

"Between my shoulder blades."

He abruptly dropped the ice between her shoulder blades. Estelle flinched at the hefty bag of ice coming into sudden contact with her tender spot.

"Gently," Estelle hissed.

She felt that most of their interactions involved her hissing at him to get him to behave like a decent human being. Their dynamic was entirely foreign to her. Most people of the opposite gender, at least in Akita, seemed somewhat stricken with her, or cognizant of her status as an up and coming idol. Estelle was used to interactions with these kinds of people: predictable and cooperative. Much like Okamura.

So a deviant, in multiple ways, like Murasakibara, was pushing her buttons. He didn't care for her status as an idol, or he sure made it seem that way. He seemed to not care much for her as a girl either. But at the same time, it was him who had seen her at her most vulnerable and he didn't seem affected by it either.

"Murasakibara-kun," Estelle muttered into the pillow, not looking at him.

"Hm?"

"Did you tell anyone?"

"About what?"

"What happened last night."

"What about last night?"

Estelle hesitated. Too many things happened last night that shouldn't be said.

"Everything."

"I didn't."

Estelle turned her head to face him, "No one?"

"Mm." Murasakibara made a noise that seemed to confirm her statement.

His half closed eyes bored down at hers and he was already busy with some other unidentifiable candy. She wanted to shrink into the depths of the pillow and ignore him. But that wasn't really polite.

"Thanks." Estelle purposefully turned her head into the pillow to muffle her voice.

Despite her stifling her voice, Murasakibara gave another noise of affirmation.

She began biting the inside of her cheek again. She wondered if she should do it. She wondered if he would actually agree. She wondered if her own fear overcame her sense of pride at the current moment.

"Murasakibara-kun."

"Hm?"

"Do you think… you could walk me home?"

Turns out it did.

Murasakibara didn't respond right away. Suddenly, Estelle felt the urgent need to dry up like a withered leaf and blow away with the wind. She hoped some language would coin a specific word for that feeling because it seemed to be a frequent occurrence to her lately.

"I'll—"

"Mm."

Estelle had accidentally spoken at the same time as Murasakibara and she couldn't quite make out if it was a "no" noise or a "yes" noise.

"What— Could you say that again?" Estelle sat up, ice sliding off her back.

"Ok."

Estelle was shocked as much as she was pleasantly surprised. She couldn't think of any reason why he would say yes, but at the same time, she didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Ah," she said rather lamely, "Thanks."

* * *

It was dark walking home. And it was strange to Estelle to be going home this late. Usually she could appreciate the signs of the changing season around her, but in the dreary yellow tinted shadows of streetlights, it was much more difficult to see. Plus, despite her sharp hearing, her night vision was rather terrible. She felt exposed in the cold night air. Unable to see well. Jumping at every specter and rustle.

Though with an almost seven foot foot purple titan by her side, she felt safer. Not completely at ease, but safer. She wondered at how she was to make it the rest of the semester this way. Going to the counselor and telling her about her special circumstances might change her mind. As she considered the possibilities, she almost missed hearing him speak.

"The chocolate," Murasakibara said, "It was good."

His voice snapped her out of her stupor.

"You can have some more you know," Estelle turned her head to look up at him.

In the dim light, she could see his purple eyes brighten at the sound of more sweets.

"As thanks for walking me home."

His stride was long. Even with Estelle's fast pace, she was barely keeping up with him. He was just slightly ahead of her. Surprisingly, though he had only been to her place once before, he seemed to know the way. Slightly, Estelle could notice his sluggish but long stride change in the correct direction towards her place in front of her. He had a surprisingly good sense of direction. She couldn't help but think that he wasn't a complete imbecile after all.

"Elle-chin." Murasakibara didn't have any candy in his mouth at the moment. How rare.

"Hm?" She looked at him.

Once again, the feeling of tilting her chin so high just to meet his eyes was a peculiar sensation that she couldn't quite get used to.

"Why are you so scared of the dark?"

Estelle bit the inside of her cheek. Partly to prevent her from laughing out loud and partly to prevent her from displaying some sort of other inappropriate reaction. If she really did have a debilitating fear of the dark, walking down a dim street at night was hardly the right time to ask. Pushing down her nagging instinct to tell him how wrong the timing was, she felt that she owed it to him. After all, he was walking her home.

"Well, there's multiple reasons."

Looking at his face, Estelle was slightly astonished that he seemed engaged as he was. No food in his mouth and his eyes on hers.

"I've heard stories," she continued, "of girls in other idol groups. Who went home alone and got attacked. And after the attack, they, and their career, were never really the same. A lot of the girls who went through it quit shortly afterward. Probably for a lot of reasons."

A half-truth. It was the reason why she asked him to walk her home, but it wasn't really because she was particularly afraid of the dark alone. She was more fearful of the things that lurked under the guise of darkness. Now that she analyzed her own fear, maybe she was scared of the dark after all. Maybe it was a whole truth.

They arrived at her apartment. She punched in the code. They rode the elevator up to the eighth floor.

As she was punching in her door code, she saw the light above her go dark. Her heart rate spiked.

_What happened to the lights?_

She whirled around to see what was going on and was met with Murasakibara's towering torso over her, his head blocking out the light above. Murasakibara had placed his forearm on the door behind her, cornering her with his large stature. The physical feeling of being looked down upon was rather unsettling to her. His purple hair fell forward and lightly brushed against her face. Though her heart beat was slowing down within her chest, it was still faster than usual. Murasakibara always had some sort of misleading reason to do the things he did.

"What is it this time? You startled me. More bibimbap sauce?" Estelle joked, looking him straight in the eye.

She was curious as to what sort of reason he would give for his ambiguous behavior.

"Kinda wanted to look at your face up close."


End file.
